Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
These tits shall not be calmed
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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