So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
