Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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