Well apparently he's into motor boating.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
