There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
