Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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