i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
