If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
