my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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