How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
