We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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