Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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