I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
