Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
