you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
