WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
