This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
