census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
