Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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