you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She bit a glass in half.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize