we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
