Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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