The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
