I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
