you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
