It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
