:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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