Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize