I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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