Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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