But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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