Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
