why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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