Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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