my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
