people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
