She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
