i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How's work?
Spinning.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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