Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize