When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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