This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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