i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just blew my weed a kiss
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
