I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
