I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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