Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
