Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
