so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize