Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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