next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize