Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
