I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
