I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
