I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
