Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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