well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
