I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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