Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
