His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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