all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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