apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
