i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
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