Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
