she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
