Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
