At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
